


The Fun Guy from Yoggoth

by Mythostopheles (LadeeCam0)



Category: Cthulhu Mythos - Fandom
Genre: a kinder gentler mythos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22176073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadeeCam0/pseuds/Mythostopheles
Summary: A teen Goth meets an emissary from the Mi-Go on the shore of the San Francisco Bay.
Kudos: 1





	The Fun Guy from Yoggoth

So I’m sitting there on a bench near the Berkeley Marina, minding my own business, goth, queer and mopey. All of a sudden, what looked like a crab with wings leaped out of the water and landed near me, swearing. I won’t repeat exactly what it said as I’m trying to keep this family-friendly, as they say (whoever the hell They are).

An eyestalk flipped around in my direction and the flying crab said, “On back stuck help please thank.”

I looked around.

“You yes,” it said, pointing at me with a foot. “Stuck help.”

“Um, okay.” Carefully, I put the creature right-side-up.

“Thank,” it said. “Wings new adjust still. Gift from me go.”

“Please, don’t go yet,” I surprised myself by saying. Well, there weren’t even any joggers nearby to see me talking out loud to a mutant crab.

“No human silly,” the creature said. “Not ‘me go’ words two. ‘Mi-Go’ word one. Friends from space.”

Too much caffeine. That had to be it. Washing down the chocolate covered espresso beans with Cherry Coke must have been a bad idea. I had to be hallucinating a crab with wings talking to me about space aliens.

“Mi-Go give back shell soft, wings new, eyes stretchy, human words,” the creature said. “See this. Touch.” Its back looked soft and even felt kind of like a mushroom. Suddenly this spongy back opened and its membranous wings stretched out. “Happy! I swim fly walk talk. Mi-Go fly bad on Earth fly good on Pluto. Heavy too much here. Mi-Go give I wings strong I fly here.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. It wasn’t that I was ungrateful, I just wondered why me. It wasn’t like I was anybody important. I was just some mopey goth kid.

“First human you I watch after Mi-Go give words.”

“Do you want me to take you to my leaders?” I asked because I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“What say? No hell! Leaders earth poop brains have.”

“I can’t argue with that.” Part of me wondered if this little guy knew that before the Mi-Go got a hold of him. “What’s your name?”

“Sea Bass Chin.”

I blinked. “What?”

Its eyestalks pointed at each other then back at me and it said, “Humans. Name my is Sea Bass Chin.”

“Sebastian? Your name is Sebastian?”

“Yes! Human smart! Happy! Sea Bass Chin famous person crab with mermaid.”

Omigod, they named him after Sebastian from  _ The Little Mermaid! _

“Before see I have you. Here visit times many you. Always clean no thing drop ground or water. Thank.”

I guess he meant he’d seen me come here and never litter. 

“Your name what?”

“Tinabrrey.” Oops. Without thinking, I answered with my Pretentious Online Gothic Handle instead of my name. It was a pun based on my first name and the word “tenebrae.” Okay, and a misspelling of my last name.

“Tea Nah Bray meet you nice. Happy.”

“I’d love to stay and talk, Sebastian, but my … parent will be here soon to pick me up.”

He nodded by bobbing the front of his body up and down. “Crabs really not this understand. Ocean all home ours. Everywhere kids. Again see you when?”

That was a tricky question. It wasn’t like I could text him to arrange a time and after school wasn’t exactly good for me to come all the way out here. Hmm.

“Same time in seven days?”

“Yes happy seven days here! Bye good Tea Nah Bray!”

And with that, the crab I’d been talking with spread its wings and flew off a ways before diving into the bay.

What. The. Heck.

I mean, yeah I was wired beyond reason on caffeine—I wasn’t even sure why I’d consumed that much—but I didn’t think OD’ing on caffeine would cause hallucinations. And even if it did, were hallucinations things you could feel with your hands? I thought they were only visual. I was going to have to look that up.

My arrangement with Ren was that I’d meet em at the end of the pier. But this time, e was walking toward me.

“Did you just throw something into the bay?” e accused.

“No!”

“I just saw something fly from about where you are into the water, Tina,” Ren said. “What’s going on.”

There was a splash and a soft thud. It seemed Sebastian came to my rescue.

“Answer that I can,” he said. “Talking Tea Nah Bray with I was. She good never throw crap into water. She good very. I fly to water. Tea Nah Bray nothing throw.”

“…” Ren just stood there, staring at the crab.

“Name mine Sea Bass Chin. You parent Tea Nah Bray yes?”

Ren recovered and introduced emself. “Yes, I’m Tina’s—Tinabrrey’s parent. My name is Dana.”

“Tea Nah, Day Nah. Family Nah! Happy!” And once again, Sebastian spread his wings and flew off into the bay.

“What just happened?” Ren asked.

“A mutant crab flew up out of the water to defend my honor against a baseless accusation of littering,” I replied, deadpan.

“Okay, you saw it, too.”

“I’m gonna see him again next Sunday, if you want to come along.”

“Um, okay.”

So. Ren and me would visit Sebastian, the talking, flying mutant crab next weekend. Was this real? Or were we having a shared hallucination?


End file.
